Blog #218--Bullies Large and Small

Everyone has encountered bullies or participated in bullying others at one time or another. It starts when we’re young, when we compete to see how we compare with our peers. Those who can’t win on merit use a variety of indirect methods to change the odds in their favor. Yes, bullying is indirect compared with direct aggression. It is the result of an insecure ego that believes it must conquer others to feel good about itself.

Bullies are in the news these days, especially those who use bullying and shaming tactics on social media to push down those they dislike. Some youngsters have committed suicide after being embarrassed publicly by bullies. It requires a great deal of self-confidence to ignore exaggerations and other lies spread by those hoping to get a reaction from us. Most of us are sensitive to criticism, and bullies know this well. If they can make us feel more insecure, they have won and feel better about themselves...temporarily.

There was no social media when I was growing up, but there were definitely bullies. Some were bigger than the rest of their classmates and used intimidation to feel good about themselves. They gained a following from those who liked being associated with power. And they developed a reputation for being difficult to handle, something that appealed to their egos. But deep inside, they were extremely insecure. Conquering weaker foes didn’t improve their confidence levels, but it did leave a trail of tearful egos in their wake.

A beauty contest winner from my area once claimed she wished to dedicate herself to helping rid the world of bullying. This was an admirable goal, and she reasoned it out well. After all, she had been a victim of bullying and knew the situation well. But once she was finished with college and beauty pageants, she decided to run for political office and proclaimed loyalty to a group that favored bullying as a means of getting its way around the world.

She probably didn’t realize she was going against her stated goals. Most likely, she thought bullying was limited to youngsters growing up. But many of us like the idea of winning, even if it is the result of latching on to the coattails of ascending stars in our lives. We can identify bullying easily if it is being done to us, but it is much harder to see it when we are successful through bullying others.

Charles Derber and Yale R. Magrass wrote a book entitled “Bully Nation: How the American Establishment Creates a Bullying Society.” They were interviewed by Mark Karlin, who published the results 10/16/2016 on truth-out.org. They describe the U.S. as engaging in “militarized capitalism:”

“...Militarism is, inherently, a bullying force, and independently, capitalism is very much a bully system. So all militarized states, even those not capitalist, are bullies, And the same is true of capitalist states which are not militaristic. But when you have a militarized capitalist system, the effects are multiplied. Both the militaristic and capitalist elements of the system create bullying—and the synergy creates super-bullying. That is one of the reasons the US is the most powerful and dangerous bully nation.”

We may not see it that way. But many people in other parts of the world may be watching our actions with deep concern. After all, to manifest goals such as “American exceptionalism,” bullying to prove superiority may be an easy choice. Having by far the world’s largest military, with bases in many countries and at least 7100 nuclear warheads, intimidates and threatens anyone daring to stand up to us. Insisting on unregulated capitalism to guarantee that the top 1% can compete successfully against the rest for the world’s resources does likewise, especially when threats and punishments are meted out for noncompliance.

Many Americans love the idea of a strong country. They feel safer and more secure that way, even when the people they wish to follow have exaggerated the threat to their person in order to scare them into compliance. The more fear they possess, the less logic they can muster for a counterbalance. Self-confidence is minimal, guaranteeing a need for a strong leader.

And that’s where strong-arm tactics come into play. As Derber and Magrass state:

“...America must feel free to go anywhere it wants, do anything it wants, anywhere in the world, with impunity. Nobody can be allowed to mess with America. A strong-man—a bully—is needed. In order to protect you, he must make sure no one can challenge him—he must be able to destroy you. The more effectively the bully bullies, the more secure you will feel. You can even feel empowered in his glow, you can be part of the dominant caste, the winning team. Personally, your life may not be great, but at least you can be part of something great—the world bully.”

A strong leader as described above can be a woman or man; both genders are equally capable of perpetuating unbalanced relationships for personal gain. They don’t usually care about the vast majority of their followers except when they are needed, such as for elections. Their primary goal is to prop up themselves and their cronies at the expense of everyone else and then lie about motivations and solutions. They must lie because their actual methods would not be acceptable to a majority of citizens.

Derber and Magrass offer suggestions for reducing bullying, but their chances for success are slim. They want sufficient social change to guarantee a more equal distribution of power and wealth, which requires the various groups fighting against bullying work together for common goals. The latter might occur, but the nature of Nature is to perpetuate conflict between opposites. While that guarantees a middle ground will be reached on occasion, the pendulum continues swinging back and forth without end.

If improvements are to be made, it must start with improving self-confidence, both on an individual and group basis. Confident people don’t need to bully others into submission, and they don’t tolerate those behaving as bullies in their name. This is no easy task when there are so few ways to gain and maintain self-confidence, and so many people doing the bidding of the bullies.

Many Americans would be shocked and angered by those who claim their country is a bully, but that is exactly what some countries around the world think of the US. We must place ourselves in their shoes to see why they might feel this way. If we don’t wish to behave like bullies, we must recognize our mistakes, balance the ledgers and try to reduce reoccurrence. Otherwise, we are just being hypocrites.

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