Blog #113--Broken Hearts Can Be Mended
A barber who once trimmed my hair told me he would never again have a pet because it hurt him too much to watch it die. His heart “broke” the last time he lost a beloved pet, and it reminded him of the painful experiences he’d had with the women in his life. He definitely disagreed with the old adage, “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
Like many of us, the barber suffered greatly as he adapted to life alone. He was in a relatively balanced state prior to meeting his love interests because he was accustomed to his situation. Adding a pet or lover to his daily existence was an uplifting experience, but it was temporary at best. While few of us understand why we feel so miserable after losing a loving relationship, we definitely are aware of the pain associated with it. Perhaps understanding the phenomenon can help us prevent the extreme emotions that often accompany the loss of love.
We often place expectations on our love interests and judge them based on their relative value to us over time. But these are egoistic and based on what we can obtain from the relationships and not on love. If we come to expect specific benefits from a relationship, of course we will miss them when absent. The sudden emptiness we feel makes us feel sorry for ourselves. This can be painful for us, at least until we attract a replacement for what we are missing or re-equilibrate at our previous balanced level.
But there is an invisible component that must be addressed as well. We all are composed of energy, and it is this energy which interacts with a pet or other person. Our auras begin to unite upon meeting, and the degree to which we share this energy often grows as we get to know each other better. We must adapt to the new conditions, but we usually enjoy the vibrations created by uniting our aura with another. Strong attractions can overwhelm our need for separateness, making us more and more dependent on the vibration of two living beings united more or less as one.
The euphoria possible with a new love interest can make us crave more of it. Dependence creates the fear of loss, which makes us stifle our natural personalities to minimize potential complications in the relationship. Unfortunately, as soon as we stop being ourselves, there is a greater risk of loss since we are changing the overall polarity of our auras. The degree to which we experience an attraction may lessen over time.
Taking the relationship for granted can create the same effect. We may still have a strong attraction and positive feelings toward another, but we may not recognize it on a regular basis. Over time, we begin to lose conscious awareness of the attraction, which subsequently reduces the degree of attraction. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Nothing really breaks with a broken heart. What “breaks” is the energy umbilical cord we used to enjoy and connect with another. Adjusting to the sudden aloneness can be difficult because we are out of balance and must find a way to recreate it. They say, “Time heals all wounds,” and this is generally true. But time can seem to stand still when we feel empty secondary to the loss of a lover or pet.
People respond in various ways to the loss of a love. Emotional people may do a lot of crying, while grounded people may mentally dig themselves a hole and retreat into it. Fiery people may lash out at others out of frustration, while those with a lot of air in their signs may need to talk out their problems with a trusted friend. Regardless, the pain they feel is as much located in the area of their navels as their hearts or heads.
Most likely, just like when we are fetuses in our mothers’ wombs, we connect with loved ones through our 3rd or gut chakra. This is located in the area of our navels, the location of our original umbilical cords. When the connections with another are severed, a sudden void is created which is palpable. We will eventually draw other energies to us to replace that which is lost, but we must heal all of us before we can learn to love again.
Yes, the loss of a love interest can be painful. But if we put aside our selfish motivations, we begin to realize that connecting with our creator requires experience connecting with all others since we are all created equally by the same source. Cats and small breed dogs may live more than 10 years, while large breed dogs may not exceed six years of age. No human relationship is perfect enough to last forever either. Accepting the temporary nature of our attractions allows us also to accept our losses.
So no matter how much pain we feel, or how long it lasts, we benefit when we are willing to try again to embrace unifying energies. And if we accept the fact that no relationship on Earth lasts forever, we can deal better with both the up and down cycles of life. After all, we can’t have one without the other.
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