Blog #109: We Are Where We're Supposed To Be

I wasn’t an avid reader growing up. Sports books were an exception, and many had similar themes. A high school athlete at a big city school languished on the bench. Things improved when the family moved to a smaller town. The young player was able to earn a starting position and made great strides in his game. When his new team had to play his former team, he led it to a big upset victory.

While heart-warming reversals of fortune are more common in books and movies than real life, they are far from rare. I watched a number of young football and basketball players at camps, AAU events and on video when I worked as a college sports journalist for an Internet website. In that time, I saw a number of athletes with great ability fail to reach their potential in college, while a number of late bloomers became college stars. There are a variety of reasons for this phenomenon.

Some people mature at a younger age than others. They grow big earlier than others in their age group and dominate on the court or playing field. They are given high ratings by scouting services and recruited by the most prestigious schools. But they may reach their peak in high school and fail to meet expectations in college. In some cases, their bodies lose flexibility as their muscles tighten with age.

For instance, I knew a basketball player who could, as a freshman in high school, stand flat-footed under a basket and dunk a ball. But by the time he was a senior in college, he couldn’t dunk even with a running start. In another case, a young man grew to 6’-8” tall by his freshman year in high school and was labeled one of the top five players nationally in his high school class. From then on, his rating continued to slide. By the time he was ready for college, he was barely in the top 100. He received a scholarship from a major school, but he couldn’t earn playing time and transferred to a smaller program. He was a deep reserve there as well.

It is usually pretty easy to spot a potential superstar. There is a level of athleticism that is beyond the reach of most people, and it usually pays off with great success. Every college wants to recruit these special athletes, knowing their abilities can lead to many victories. Most prove worthy of their reputations, but there are exceptions. Injuries and academic casualties are common limiters of destiny, but there are also some people who become addicted to alcohol or other drugs or engage in criminal activity.

Some athletes receive scholarships to power schools but must transfer to a lower level team to have success. They may not be able to compete successfully with older, more experienced and more athletic teammates. Or, they may have academic or behavioral problems and are dismissed by their first school. In these and other cases, they benefit from a transfer where they may become big fish in little ponds.

It is impossible to predict which high school athletes will end up playing professionally in their preferred sport. Some of the draftees each year both in the National Football League and National Basketball Association were under-rated early in their careers. Some received more playing time at smaller schools and were able to develop the self-confidence essential for peak performances. With more chances for success than at larger schools, they thrived and were ultimately signed to play professionally.

Another factor affecting one’s athletic future is opportunity. Some people have opportunities others lack, making it likely they will have more success and advance to higher levels than others with equal athleticism and skill level. I knew a basketball player who was being recruited only by smaller schools until he exploded during one weekend of summer AAU basketball. He hit seven three-point shots in one game, and suddenly big schools looking for a shooting specialist began knocking at his door. That was the only weekend he had supreme success, but it was enough to get a scholarship and ultimately a degree from one of the most prestigious schools in the country.

A highly successful college basketball coach went to a couple games of a high school athlete who hoped to receive a scholarship offer from him. But the athlete played poorly both times, so the coach decided to look elsewhere for talent. The athlete became a college superstar and has enjoyed a long and successful NBA career.

I’ve known parents who have taken their sons and daughters to all sorts of summer camps to earn scholarship offers. College coaches can evaluate players better in person than on tape. But sometimes these young athletes bite off more than they can chew. They may have a good day or two at camps, but all the travel and workouts take a toll on their bodies, reducing their ability to showcase their skills.

I remember a punter from Pennsylvania who was hitting a different Midwest school every day during a two week period. Crammed into the back seat of the family car most of the time, his kicking leg was often weak when it came time to demonstrate his punting skills. Fortunately for him, his true ability came out on the first couple days of his quest, and he obtained the scholarship he needed. He did much better in college than at most of those summer camps.

We often lament our unrequited dreams while wondering why some with less ability than us enjoyed success we missed. But in every case, the end result is an opportunity to learn valuable lessons about ourselves and how the world works. If we never become great at our preferred activities, we can learn to accept our situations and make the best of them. We can begin to understand how circumstances beyond our control give us lessons of value for later in our lives. If we gain the notoriety we dream about, we learn the value of hard work, perseverance and self-confidence. Many lessons are presented to us regardless of the direction our lives take.

When we look back on our lives for connections between significant events, we can recognize how results that may at first seem like failure were essential for dream fulfillment. Maybe a transfer to a smaller school allows one to meet a future spouse. Maybe the need to find an alternative profession when athletics doesn’t work out provides the motivation to take academics more seriously. Examples of how positive things can happen subsequent to negative events are practically endless.

In the long run, we are always in exactly the right place at the right time. We may not realize this when memorable events occur, but the connections are more recognizable at the end of our lives. Trying our best and accepting the consequences gives us the balance we need to find value in our lives.

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