Blog #97--Trust Is A Valuable Commodity

I had to move my grandmother to a nursing home after she became too frail to care for herself alone in her rural home. She had lived in the same house 64 years, the first 57 of which were shared with my grandfather. She seemed to make the transition rather smoothly and without complaint, a pleasant surprise considering how many elderly people see a move to a nursing home as a sign their lives are about over.

A year or so later, she asked me to take her back to the farm for one last look around. A red flag went up immediately in my mind. Why did she want to go back? Was she going to try to stay there, or would she return to the nursing home willingly after a brief visit?

I loved my grandmother, but I also knew she was capable of telling a lie under certain situations. This was especially true when she and her daughter had one of their occasional arguments. Likes repel, and neither side wanted to lose, so both exaggerated the truth to get the upper hand. I was uncertain how to proceed. I asked her multiple times why she wanted to return. Each time, she looked me right in the eyes and told me directly she only wished to see it one more time.

Her comment had the ring of truth, and her eyes were those of an honest person. We made the trip, and she didn’t even go inside the house. Like she said, she just wanted to see it. I trusted her, and it proved to be the correct choice.

I share this story now because it is becoming increasingly difficult to find trustworthy people in this world. Businesses make the most money when they lie to sell products and services. Politicians get the most votes when they tell people what they want to hear while secretly promising to support the selfish goals of financial and corporate entities. Like I’ve discussed in another blog, a significant number of religious leaders and scientists are willing to lie to gain a bigger following or secure more funds to aid their agendas.

How many lies does it take before we stop trusting them? In the case of governments and militaries, it seems our security fears make us slaves to any lie they wish to share with us. Our desire to avoid eternal damnation promised us by our religious leaders makes many of us follow them blindly, even if their pronouncements make no sense and can’t possibly be true. Our desire to prove we are superior to our equal brothers and sisters in this world makes us buy products and services that may not perform as intended. Our fear of death makes us pay exorbitantly for drugs and surgeries that may be counterproductive to our health and quality of life.

I will allow someone to lie without judgment, as long as it is infrequent and not intended to cause harm. After all, even the best of us makes mistakes. Everyone lies, some more than others. Like I share in my book “It’s a Secret, So Pass It On: a Toolbox For Life,” it can be argued that an absolute truth is impossible on three-dimensional Earth. But after several lies that suggest a continuing pattern, trust is lost. As they say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Back when my grandparents were alive, trust often required only a handshake or verbal promise. It was a badge of honor for a person to be good at his or her word. Trustworthiness and responsibility were considered essential for many people. It was a refreshing experience. Of course, not all people were honest back then either. There were plenty of people who would make promises they had no intention of keeping. Contracts became more prevalent to provide protection for those who had been burned by untrustworthy dealings. But trust was more likely then than now.

Actually, there are still people who can be trusted most of the time. For instance, our bookstore has only rarely suffered from theft or bounced checks in its 30 years of operation. Those seeking metaphysical and spiritual books are looking for truth about themselves and their world, and they don’t wish to create bad karma. So perhaps they are the exception to the rule.

But I’ve noticed trustworthy people in all walks of life. I’ve frequented auction websites over the years, and with only two exceptions, every purchase I’ve made was handled appropriately and honestly by the seller. Most of the sellers have simply been trying to supplement their incomes to aid their survival. They are generally much more trustworthy than large corporations that try to squeeze every penny out of their customers, who they treat as inferior citizens.

Trustworthy people tend to know instinctively when they meet a person they can trust. Like I stated in my book, one must attempt to live an honest life to know how it feels to be an honest person and thus recognize that feeling in others. It has been wonderful both to know we can trust our customers and for them to trust us to treat them fairly and honestly. When both buyer and seller trust one another, everything proceeds smoothly. Trust between family members or friends produces the same phenomena.

If we go through life distrusting everyone we meet, eventually everyone will justify our feelings toward them. And there are certainly plenty of people we are best off not trusting, no matter how much we’d like to do so. But a world without trust does not make for a satisfying existence. If we keep an open mind and give people a chance to prove their trustworthiness, we can allow a rare slip-up or two. After all, interacting with someone who is generally trustworthy helps give us reason to find a little good in a world that needs it badly.

http://dreamtime3.wix.com/jacktuttlebook

Comments and questions can be directed to dreamtime@insight-books.com.